One day, you are moving along, minding your own business and SUDDENLY it smacks you like a ton of bricks. You open your eyes and your mind just a bit wider that day. You replay pivotal moments of your life in your mind. You contemplate why you ever tried to hold on when the universe was telling you to let go. You almost lose your breath as you remember all the struggle that you've endured before getting here. You stop, catch your breath, and breathe in the blessings that are now your life.
That moment happened for me a few days ago. My thoughts about staying home with my children started to soften. I began to relax into the role I had been fighting against for over a year. I know, it seems ridiculous that something I had prayed intentionally for was actually the thing that scared me the most. I affirmed and manifested being able to stay home and run a successful business for almost four years before I could actually see myself doing it.
When we brought our daughter home I was not quite sure how I was going to take care of two little ones. As the postpartum blues started to creep in I would find myself resenting my role. I would be upset about piles of dirty laundry and dishes. I would explode on my toddler because I was annoyed. I would also pick fights with my partner because..... well because he was a man. HAHA It seemed like the closer I got to my dreams and my goals the harder I tried to run in the opposite direction. Sound familiar?
I've dabbled in the self sabotage game for a VERY long time! The difference now is that I see a clear vision for my life. I spoke into existence what I needed and more importantly what I want. Here is how it has worked:
I want to be at home with my kids- I was laid off.
I want to be a successful business owner- many opportunities happened at once.
I want to be wealthy enough to live comfortably from my businesses- more work was applied to my load.
I want to travel- partnered with a network marketing company that pays for my trips (still have to work).
I want to be an example for my babies- they have to come with me to meetings because I stay home.
I want a fulfilling relationship with my partner- inner work started to happen that forced me to look inward on myself (SCARY).
You see..... manifesting the things and life you want is not like wishes granted from a genie. You MUST put in the work to see the things happen. Every time I asked for something the universe responded with an opportunity for me to do the work to get me to the next step. Prime example: I want to stay at home-I was laid off! Most people would look at this situation and burst into tears! Not I! I looked at this situation as an opportunity for growth. It was definitely scary as hell and I had ZERO clue as to how we were going to make this work, but the universe supported my ideas. It also FORCED me to work on my goals at a higher level. I HAD TO LEVEL UP AS A BUSINESS OWNER.
After I became accustomed to my new life as a mom of two I finally came to a fork in the road. I could go back into my comfort zone and cry about how I had NO money and I couldn't handle all the stress that goes along with being a #WAHM -OR- I could rise to the occasion and bust the ball out of the park for a home-run. Clearly, I chose the later of those two. I have made money EVERY SINGLE DAY since I chose to push harder. I've also been WORKING every single day. LOL
I take a day off here and there to make sure my kids have their MOMMY, but I'm also up in the wee hours of the night. I work while their sleeping to have time during the daylight hours. Sometimes you'll find me getting up at 6:45 AM on a Saturday, listening to training while I'm in the shower, or affirmations while I make breakfast. I get it done whatever way I have too. It's almost like I'm addicted to the success. It's not for everyone, but I used to be addicted to VERY BAD self-destructive behaviors that kept me from my full potential.
I wake up now GRATEFUL for the life I have built. There is not a day that goes by that I don't say thank you. I'm in disbelief a lot of the time because there were moments I would agree with my critics. In those still, quiet moments when my conscience was screaming so loudly that I couldn't-- I thank GOD that my heart believed I could.
I had to get my head straight- FOR REAL. All the years I wasted believing what others thought or said is so sad. I'm just incredibly thankful that I found my way. The gift that I received by way of my children truly changed me. It gave me a second chance at life. The gift I received in their father is also something I cherish. He is truly a special soul..... it sure does take a special one to deal with me!!!
Today's message is this:
Your dreams are just as important as all the tests you will be given along your path. These "tests" are actually the universe's way of asking you, "do you really want this"? If you find yourself struggling through setbacks its because at some point you thought you didn't want this anymore. Our minds are such delicate things. One thought in the opposite direction of what you are going after has the capability to set you back for years. One decision made that is not in tune with your goal can put you on a completely different track to something you don't actually want. You're also allowed to change your mind. On your journey you may find that the things you were conditioned to believe are not aligned with your soul's desires. It may mean you have to spend some time with YOURSELF to find out exactly what it is YOU want. This may also mean shedding people and things from your life that no longer serve YOUR purpose. Most of us have been taught to believe this is a negative experience, when in fact, it is necessary. Change equals growth. Remaining stagnant to make someone else happy, in my opinion, is the true definition of insanity.
Spread your wings, its time to fly!
--Liv
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