I have put my hair through so much pain. Although, that probably sounds strange— that statement is so true. In the beginning I didn't get the chance to love the real me. When I began to question who I was AKA “the uncomfortable period of time where you are coasting through adolescence” I was not aware of the beauty of my heritage.
From the age of 12 I stripped my hair of its roots— LITERALLY! I began relaxing or “perming” my hair to make it straight. I would go through hours of tedious, chemical processes. Some painful and horrible for my skin. I would also get up hours before I had to go to school to “get ready”.
I was unable to see the pure magnificence in my curly patterns. Before I could form my own opinion about what I should look like or feel those choices were already being chosen for me. Ideas were thrown at me from all of my surroundings and it was difficult to hear my inner voice.
I’ve walked through most of my adult life pretending to be someone else. When I began appreciating the pieces of my life that were hidden away that is when I truly accepted and loved who I really am. My hair has always been a focal point in my life. I thought I wanted long, flowing hair only to find that my kinky, coiled, locks are much more fitting. My hair is soft, strong, and healthy.
I have been team "natural" for about eight years now. The decision to do so was brought on by a heated discussion about how I have "good hair" therefore I have nothing to "worry about". I was so put off by that statement that I decided to start my own natural journey. My first month on the journey I also started to play with the notion of no makeup. I had spent years painting my face on before ever stepping foot in public. Looking back now, that seems so absurd and ridiculous.
There are plenty of women out there that look absolutely FABULOUS with makeup on. So.... DO NOT make me out to be the bad guy! I love makeup just as much as the next woman. I also like the way I look on a good, slayed, day! However, there is something about my creamy complexion, barefaced, and raw. Being able to go out with nothing but brows, mascara and lip gloss without feeling like I must cover up my natural skin is blissfully, liberating.
The ugly truth is that the media, family members, magazines, and peers all played a role in helping me to believe that my curly hair and clean, fresh skin were not enough to greet the world. I had to burn my scalp, plaster chemicals on my face, and endure emotional trauma over the things that make me.... ME! I wish when I was young someone looked at me and said, "You are enough"! I know this now and even though it took me way too many years to love the real me, I am so happy that I found my voice.
My hope is that little girls everywhere with darker complexions and kinky-curly hair, love themselves the moment they take that first look in the mirror and NEVER stop. My heart is so full of joy to see the current movement and I believe that we will soon see a strong generation of women that are empowered and truly comfortable in their own skin from day one. As I write this I think of my own daughter-- I cannot wait to show her just how beautiful her natural hair is and the endless possibilities that DO NOT include a relaxer, flat iron, hot comb, harsh chemicals, or damaging hair care practices.
My hair is my covering. My hair is my pride. My hair is my crown.
--Liv
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