There was a period of time in my life that I didn't know how to let loose, calm down, not be anxious, or..... LAUGH. The laugh was always fake. My laugh was never genuine. It was an ever present reminder that I was not happy and I didn't know how to be.
As I've gotten older I have been coined with the title "an old soul". This comes at a price. You are the one that everyone in your circle comes to for advice. You are the one that is organized, the planner, the "mother" of the group, but something is missing for you.
When it comes to your life no one is planning anything. No one is organized. No one is "mothering" you. Often times, you feel lonely. Mainly, because people rely on you to be the glue that holds everything together because.... well, you do! Unfortunately, in this scenario you are often robbed of being the "fun" one because you are too busy being the "doesn't know how to lighten up" one.
Recently, I went through a string of events that literally could have sent any sane person to the depths of despair. You see, my daughter is literally DAYS away from being born and in the span of about 72 hours we had the following things happen: my car battery dies, my son pees in my bed, the ceiling starts leaking from rain, our toilet downstairs was clogged with toys by the toddler, the toilet literally exploded and came up through the sink and has now blocked our line out for our washer, I started having full blown contractions early Sunday morning, and now we need to remodel our bathroom and laundry room.
So, guess what I did after all of this??? I started laughing. I literally had tears in my eyes and rolling down my face, BUT I WAS LAUGHING. The "normal" me would have cried, screamed, thrown a few things, probably cussed at a few people, and sat around being angry at the world until something changed. Then, it hit me...... how does this behavior make this situation any better for me or anyone else? Quite frankly, it doesn't!
I learned that night that laughter is truly a god-send. I learned that being "an old soul" doesn't mean that you have to forget how to be happy. It also doesn't mean that when something is really bad that you can't just stop, take a pause, and laugh your way through the madness. Do you know in those moments of laughter I found a part of me that I had lost forever?
It was in that moment that I found the person that my significant other fell in love with. I found the woman that had been missing from the equation for so many years. After laughing at an otherwise AWFUL situation I was able to be free from the anger that had been holding me back for so long. I will have to make a conscious choice from this point forward to laugh instead of being angry. It is not an overnight transition, but now I know just how important it is for me to let things go. In all honesty, that is what happened the night I chose to laugh instead of get angry. I let go of every single thing I could not control.
My advice for anyone reading today: laugh more often. Laugh until your stomach hurts. For goodness sake, laugh to keep from crying. However, by all means make sure you don't lose the spirit of laughter in your life. It's funny how we rely so heavily on our negative emotions and forget to utilize the ones that were given to us to keep us happy.
--Liv
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