Hey there little one! I just wanted to take a moment to write to you in the excitement of it all. You're on your way into this world and there are some things I want to make very clear for you.
First, your mom is a human. She makes mistakes and she is flawed. I hope in our time together I am able to show you this instead of you going through life thinking I do nothing wrong and that I expect you to be perfect.
Your brother was born first. My bond with him is going to be very different than the one I have with you. Please do not think I love him more or that you have more weight to bare. I will treat you all according to your personalities and love you with the love I never received as a child. I am so thankful for you both.
One day when I was younger I dreamed and I prayed for you. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that fighting the need to have you in my life was pointless. This is my life now and I embrace knowing it is not meant to be any other way. You and your brother are the joy that I never thought would ever come into my life.
Your dad.... he's not perfect either. However, he will be your biggest cheerleader and love you until he no longer has breath in his body. He will always be the softy and want to do all the "fun" things. Don't take advantage of this! One day he will have to discipline you and you will act like the world is ending. Cry your tears and get over it! You will be okay! Ha Ha!
You are my last child, by choice. I'm making this choice because as a person I know this is all I can handle. I want to be the best mother I can be to you and your brother and that means that we are stopping at you. This is a bittersweet moment. However, I want to be able to give you what I did not have and teach you what I was not taught. Sometimes when trying to give your children this you have to set limits.
Today, as your brother and I sat in the car waiting for your dad to come out for lunch we were listening to Adele. The tears began to run down my face as your brother sang at the top of his lungs, "Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior When the thunder calls for me Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior Standing on my own two feet".
The tears rushed down my cheeks because, I did it baby girl! I overcame all the things that said you and your brother would never be here. I fought through the adversity and people that meant me harm or no good. I broke through barriers, stereotypes, and animosity just to see your face. My life is not a single thing like I thought it would be. It's better!
I've been blessed with a loving partner, two healthy babies, a beautiful home, and my dream job (entrepreneur). In the moments of uncertainty leading to your birth I was not able to see the irony of all this. I spent so many years running from this only to find that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Each pregnancy has changed me. Your brother showed me just how strong I can be. You my love, are showing me how to remove the limits I have placed on my own life.
I am so grateful for this experience and responsibility. My children mean more to me than I can ever express. We can't wait to meet you! The contractions I'm having while writing this let me know your're on your way. We love you already. See you soon!
--Mom
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